Saturday 16 May 2020

Eptesicus

EPTESICUS


"The shadows betray you when you try to adapt to the darkness, embrace the darkness and become a shadow of your own self."


In the physical world there exists a constant reflection of each one of us; one, that follows us whenever there is light. This doppelgänger of ours represents the darker half of ours which, sometimes, outruns our mortal form and forces us to face and reconcile the most deeper secrets and desires which otherwise, we wouldn't. The darkness always lurks where there is light to give us the grand illusion that only darkness is absolute. 


Like the delicate high-pitched and goosebumps-inducing icy notes of a piano, life begins in tenderness. Being at the center of attention of others in close proximity inflicts the notion of self-righteousness and over-appreciation where all that the little one says is correct, by logic or by the powers of water and sound- moist sounds. As the being continues to grow, the circles increase in number, where once was the black and white of "I love this" and "I hate this", now intercalates a grey region of "I sometimes love/hate this" depicting the increasing complexity or inability of ourselves to distinguish and define things in absolutes. This added grey region forces the two absolutes further apart from each other which leads to a decrease in the radius of "I love this", which usually is still somehow restricted with the little being's isolated serene self or with some few close members and over time, this circle will be renamed as the inner circle in which the members are free to share themselves without any judgement. Over time this inner circle too will fall prey to the increasing list of inabilities of one to rise and face the consequences of ones actions, thus forcing the eviction of certain members from this elite group.

When one is confronted with things that aren't in his/her control, something greater than simple act of yelling or fighting the mortal physical illusions but a more deeper, sinister battle of wits in which the ultimate loser is the self itself manifests and the wounds gained after far outweigh the ones achieved during this confrontation as the scars, being the constant reminder they are, fail the bearer to  forget ones own actions and toll the bells for future rematch. Every act, no matter how significant or miniscule, has a consequence which presents itself during times when we are at our weakest. In a way, the shadows exist to keep us in check when we feel the blazing sun looking down on us, trying to intimidate from two dimensions while melting our very self. The shadows follow us when gleam and glory is in front of us, it is during these days of heightened glory that our deeds feed our shadows. The same shadows block our paths when people behind us radiate or when our path, was glorious.

Perception is the fundamental problem associated with shadow for it is always changing to suit our taste, as opposed to the subject. It is a mere image projected by tweaks in our circle and should the demons be intimidating, we can always change the direction towards one where we may find redemption, solace and salvation. The movement of any living entity in the world is motivated by two things, either towards something that is benefiting or away from something detrimental and it ultimately comes our judgement to decide whether we choose to embrace the glorious future or the darker past. The present is meaningful because only it has the power to learn from the past and dictate a future that is fitting for the being. Like a dog chasing cars, some acts that may seem mundane to others may be of paramount importance to some and may finally guide people towards their better self that is more conscious, confident and most importantly- is at peace with its past where the shadows do not bother him/her anymore.

The shadows intimidate those who deliberately fail to acknowledge or make peace with the evils of their pasts which, in hindsight is a blessing in disguise. The ones that are unaffected by the shadows or the dark are the ones to be looked upon as they hide their sorrows and grief in plain sight which, due to the lack of light, aren't obvious to others.  It is the strength of life to always look at what is ahead of us, which is why we walk towards what we see and leave the world- only this time we watch the high skies above and not the grounds below, for it is, the circle of life.


Memories warm you up from the inside. But they also tear you apart. Haruki Murakami