When The Pain Dies Down...

WHEN THE PAIN DIES DOWN...

"We must embrace pain & use it as fuel for our journey" - Kenji Miyazawa

Pain...what is it actually? The dictionary says that its an 'unpleasant sensory & emotional' experience which means that it is an abstract expression. It is an 'anti-self' action but only when we're at the receiving end. It's an emotion sustaining the power which can either create or demolish emotional barriers. In most cases, it creates more barriers than breaking them. 

The dictionary might term it whatever it wishes to but the truth is that there's no concrete or binding definition of pain. It can be compared to being 'uncomfortable' if the dictionary is to be believed, but we all know that they are different. Only the one 'receiving' pain knows how it feels. Again, pain are of two types: Physical, Mental. The similarities are that both leave a mark or a scar for a long time. Physical pain refers to a wound whereas Mental pain refers to the 'inner-self' of the person. There are medicinal remedies for physical pain but only therapeutic's attempt to 'divert the mind' for mental pain. The most common way of 'sweeping' the pain is crying. People weep, even the older one's, just so that they can clear their conscience & let go off the burden called pain. 

Pain can be caused by virtually, anything. You can get hurt even by yourself, both mentally & physically. Haven't cut your nails and if unconsciously you happen to get your skin scratched with it, you realize that..oh it was my fault. So this pain pertains without any foreign object. And not to forget the pain of cutting the nails of the grim-looking little finger of the legs. Sometime's I question to myself that god made everything for a reason, so whats the purpose of that nail on that finger? Does god want's us to be literally on our 'toes'?. Anyway, jokes apart, but the point is that one is equally responsible as others are, in terms of 'giving' pain. Speaking of mental pain by oneself, the most clichéd illustration that pop's into my head is 'not being able to do...'. As I stated in earlier my post, An Epitome Of Remorse , we're always left with a feeling of improvisation i.e. to improvise more in what has already been done. We regret something or the other that we did or rather we didn't because of our 'self-renowned' reasons. A mis-communication can play a major factor in 'exchanging' emotional/mental pain. We're in fact so vulnerable to our own deeds that we cannot help but repeatedly get indulged into some activity, good or bad, that we're left with nothing to do but 'regret' it. Mostly, we become victims of our own creations. It's like a Frankenstein out of control, you created it but you don't know how to deal with it. Then we're left with the cupid called 'Pain'.

The antonym of pain is happiness and I'd like to quote one of my favorite line, from 'Harry Potter And The Prisoner of Azkaban' that 'We can stay happy even in the darkest hours, only if one remember's to switch on the lights.'. We can defeat Pain, or atleast suppress it enough, if we remember to stay positive. That's right pain dwells in negativity, except electrons because electrons are at atomic level where pain cannot fit itself. One must try to look at the positives that are earned from his experience of 'pain' & despair. You made a mistake, doesn't matter. There is 'No use crying over spilled milk'. Pain is always a matter of the past. Forgetting our past means letting it be born again to haunt us in our future! 'That' past, when it is re-born and looks into our eyes, we get scared & the fear slowly transforms into 'pain'. Fear & pain are indirectly related but no matter what, a person can believe in anything when consumed by either or both of them. 

Pain creates a dam, ignites a fire in us. But when we remember to 'be happy', the dam becomes a river, the fire burns out. It all seems like a dream which can comfort us in the middle of the night, a song that carries us to a better emotion & we come out of it becoming a better self than what we were. 

Ultimately, we all want to experience the feeling of 'when the pain goes down...'

I'd like to conclude 'Pain' by some beautiful quotes that can help you co-relate with the point's I tried of writing:

"Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding." - Kahlil Gibran 

"We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret or disappointment. " - Jim Rohn 

"The great art of life is sensation, to feel that we exist, even in pain." - Lord Byron

Happy 'Being Happy'.

My Side Of The Story

MY SIDE OF THE STORY

Since childhood, we've learnt that 'A friend in need is a friend indeed' but how much true is it? How much do we help others to call ourselves their 'friends'? We all have our share of problems, dark past - secrets. There is no one in the world who knows all our (individuals') secrets. Some secrets are shared with family, some with friends & some with no one - that's why they are called secrets! 

At some point of our lives, we all have some story concerning us, to someone. That point can come at anytime, ranging from teen-age to old-age. And if we can't tell that story, everything turns into a silver glass with a light on the water as the hope of 're-living' the story fades. The point of telling 'our' story is that we want someone, other than ourselves, to know about it so that we can re-live it again. When we tell some story, we're actually living it. And sometimes all one needs is a good listener. A person who doesn't intervenes in between but listens the story with full attention. The story teller is always enthusiastic & seems obsessed with his share of stories, whereas if the listener doesn't takes part as 'enthusiastically', its the calm before the storm. Any interruptions are considered as an 'omen' for the relation between the participants. It has also been observed that when someone else wants to tell a story, you're always available but when it comes to telling your story, you're alone. People who can understand the body-language of human beings can easily differentiate between what's real & what's 'forced'. 

After the conclusion of the story, suggestions begin to fly over from as many participants. Everyone starts with 'You should've...'. What they're forgetting is that the story is of the PAST hence the 'should've' philosophy becomes directly proportional to the probability of someone sleeping at that time! Hence 'this' messenger of remorse should not be used or atleast it 'should be' avoided. People are quick with suggestions but only when its someone else's story. The only request to be made to 'them' is to mind their own business. When we can't find a 'listener', we panic. We can't stand the pressure of holding the story in our mind & frankly, like us, no one's interested in listening to 'our side of the 'story'. And rightfully the world is pre-occupied with their own problems hence we can't expect to find a perfect listener but this doesn't mean that we can't try to be a better one. 

I'd like to conclude this post by few lines which I feel when I can't find a listener. Thankfully I've a blog to take out all my frustration. 

Im all alone, running scared

Losing my way in the dark

I tried to get up, stand on a prayer

But I keep crashing down hard

This is only My burden to bear

Nobody cares, nobody's there, no one will hear

My side of the story...

Don't you think the same too? Answer honestly..

Happy Story-telling/listening.

Boring...

BORING...

“Boredom is the feeling that everything is a waste of time; serenity, that nothing is.” - Thomas Szasz

'Boring...' is one of the most commonly used daily-word. We get bored very easily. We listen to a song or watch the same movie sometimes & then we get 'bored' of it. The reason is simple, our mind knows every bit of information that the movie/music is trying to spread hence listening to it over & over again destroys the actual 'charm' of it. We know what'll be the next scene in the movie. 

But boredom is not just limited to music/movies, apparently boredom spreads to every possible corner of our lives ranging from sleep-to-wake. Yes, people do get bored enough to sleep because its a boring task. The fact is that nobody likes to work. We're to lazy to go to work if it wasn't for the money. Apparently, money plays a key role in making people struggle & engage themselves to 'earn' money. Money keeps people on their toes. If it weren't for money, people would just care about some sport or food. Then the life would've been literally, a misery. Due to boredom, diseases/disorders like diabetes, arthritis, osteoporosis etc have become an every-person routine. People can cluck their thick tongues to criticize others but become completely mute when they're asked to praise someone.Their boredom extends to the limit of paralyzing the strongest muscle of the body. When a person gets bored, everything that seemed to be exciting appears boring. In extreme cases, the existence of one-self also seems a boring fare.

From generation-to-generation, a child never gets bored because he has everything to learn. A teenager & a young person would get bored of his studies too easily. A working person would get bored of stepping out of his house. An old person can get bored, virtually at anything. In short, it turns out that the more you know, the more bore you get. But the key to surviving this situation is enthusiasm. Yes, enthusiasm is the antonym of boredom. 

An enthusiast has everything to learn, like a child hence the scope of getting bored is thin. Einstein once said that, 'A scientist is actually a child who has nothing else to do.'. He was right. Even if a person maintains his enthusiasm in any subject/topic of his interest, boredom can never captivate that mind which is pre-occupied with enthusiasm. Enthusiasm is an ecstatic poison whereas Boredom is a 'boring' poison. So it's ultimately upto us to pick the poison & our decision will be the binding one.

Happy 'Poison-Picking'

The Roles We Play

THE ROLES WE PLAY

Life is a play & we're the players. We play different characters everyday, every moment in our lives. But what we play less is 'being ourselves'. We play these roles because we don't want to lose their company. A person is at his truest within his friends because there ain't just one type of family. Within family, we play a son/daughter, brother/sister, father/mother etc. and between these characters, our true essence is buried deep underneath our plastic expressions. 

In every friends circle, family; there're clichéd characters like one would be too introvert, outgoing, mature, insensitive, blatant etc. and what we do, like others, is finding a correct person who's wavelength matches ours & thus being comfortable around them. With friends people feel comfortable because they know that their comments are going to be taken is good context, even if the words are crucifying, but they understand each other well which matters the most. Everyone wants to lead a hassle-free life which is clearly not possible. We unwittingly come in contact with those we 'imagined' to be the exact opposite of ourselves. And in most cases: like magnets, unlike forces attract & like forces repel. Its a human nature to get attracted to those who avoids us. When we meet them, we play a role that despises our previous roles & evolve into a completely new being. Whether it's good or bad is a matter of perspective. Sometimes, unconsciously, we say things that does a damage beyond repair. Sometime's even a complete lifetime falls short of repairing it. Like feelings are abstract, the wound is also abstract & usually it's diagnosis is also too late. 

At home, a person is casual in another way. Certain problems are liable on to the family hence 'family' becomes the last resort to share. And no matter what, a person has to obediently behave well at home. Sometime's 'generation gap' becomes a reason for crossing ankles at home but this 'GP' has been there since the existence of humanity. Whatever the elders can't understand or like comes under the 'law-book' of GP. So what the younger person feels about GP is 'its just a bunch of guidelines'. Even the family members have gone through this GP-phase.

But as I said, there are more than one type of family. A family is a group of people who care & stand-by you through good & trying times. Hence, a good friend-circle, a good rapport between any two beings are eligible as a 'family'. In my personal opinion, a smaller family is always appreciated because there are lesser 'conflicts' within the family. The internal conflicts are more poisonous than external conflicts as they make the whole 'family' shallow from within resulting in no moral support what-so-ever to retreat. 

While we are to meet someone, we play or rather try to portray a 'good' self. We are too afraid to let go of the delusion of 'being under scrutiny'. But all of us are to be blamed for it & like I've written in my earlier posts too, we were and are to judgmental about those around us. And what better way to judge a person by his nature than his deeds. In different Indian epic's the one thing that stands out common is the importance of 'Karma' i.e. the deeds. According to them, we are defined by what we do. 

The basic rule of playing these characters, like I said above, is that we don't want to spoil our 'image' and want to be nice to everyone be it family, friends etc. We are so involved in maintaining our image that we forget 'being ourselves' quote. And even I'm not quiet a supporter of 'being yourself' tagline as everyone is different and we don't know if we play 'ourselves', what might be the outcome. That dreaded fear of losing the company creates a chaos in our head due to which we can't concentrate. These things require a lot of time & patience. 

Ultimately, this is my first post without any quote. The things we learn from playing these 'roles' are: being able to understand others, evolved maturity, better understanding, clear view of 'to-do' & 'not-to-do' things. Maturity has nothing to do with age, but with the individual's thinking & attitude towards life. We all are stage actors & our mind is the director of the play. But the movie is never released in public for they're part of it!




Happy Playing :)

The Rising Sun...

THE RISING SUN...

There's an old saying: "The rising sun is always worshiped.". 

We've a nature of criticizing other's during their bad times. We're the actual self-renowned pseudo-critics. For example: When Roger Federer recently started losing a couple of matches, these 'critiques' started saying that 'his era has ended', 'he can't play like he did', 'he doesn't deserve this title'... etcetera. The same is the case with Cricket God: Sachin Tendulkar, Chess World Champion: Vishwanathan Anand & many many other greats who've proved their worth in the past. What we forget while criticizing is their 'past', their 'records', the milestones they achieved. So what if they lost a couple of their matches..? Has anyone achieved the records before they set them? We easily cluck our thick tongues & shake our heads and suggest so delicately that we forget about whom we're talking about. The question we should ask ourselves is 'Where do we stand against them?' Not just financially but as a person. We may criticize Al Pacino for '88 Minutes' but can we praise him enough for his work in 'The Godfather'? The world always wants to see the shiny side which is impossible, even hypothetically. When a person is at it's peak, we worship them & when they aren't, the consequences differ dramatically.

It is also a fact that when a person is wearing a beautifully crafted white-colored suite, people tend to find the dirt in it rather than appreciating its art. Even a garbage can be a piece of art if the person knows how to recognize it! We criticize them, it's fine but the same is not the case when we're put under the scanner. We begin to lose our minds & react in a way that we become what we despise of a 'civilized-society'. We should be critique only if we can stand one. We can't just go on blaming everyone for how much they've changed. Change is inevitable & those left behind cannot cope up. If the sun can't stay for 24 hours, what're we! And the moral of the 'sun' is it must set so that it may rise again afterall, when you're on the top the only place you can go to is DOWN. 

'We can't say whether the water is hot or cold until we're exposed to it.'

Alfred Hitchcock once said that he'd like to see a 'clear horizon' which, by what we are, is light years away from turning into reality. We should let go of the delusion of being 'too good to be true' & leave the job of being a critic to those who've been through it. And ultimately life, like tennis, has 2 serves. We all get chances we long for the only thing we need to do is to learn to grow up & understand the signs. We should really higher our expectations to such an extent that it becomes a burden for the one we idolize.

I personally feel that if someone can do what I can't, I wouldn't be too critique of him.

Finally I'd like to conclude this topic by a quote & once you read it you'll know what I'm trying to say.

'Fire is the hottest when we're in it.'

Deception

DECEPTION

'All deception in the course of life is indeed nothing else but a lie reduced to practice, and falsehood passing from words into things.' - Robert Southey

We all have been deceived at some point of our lives. And we use the term 'deceive' only for those who were close to us. In 'Pirates of The Caribbean' Johnny Depp says, "A dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. It's the honest ones you want to watch for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly stupid." The writer was write at bull's eye. 

First two people become friends, earning each other's trust & respect, in their way. Then one of them, or sometimes both, tend to do something stupid - something selfish & it is here when 'deception' cracks it whip. A is cheating on B to fulfill some selfish act in a dubious act of self-righteousness. When a person is carrying out 'deception' - the art of deceiving, that person is in a delusion at that time. He's not 'his-self'. When a human is consumed of jealousy or greed deception has to come into the scene at some point. See, the creator of the universe has made a human being, sent him into this world to see how his 'productive-pieces' fair when they're on their own. I wonder if his hope fades so drastically on seeing things like the way they are now. There'd been a pale moon rising in his 'haven' that welter's his hopes & cussing himself again & again. In a competitive world like today, deception is almost everyday-talk. After being deceived, we either accept the 'deceiver' or the consequences might even be severe.

No matter what we say, the brazen truth is that we all are always open to deception, otherwise it won't be deception. Sometimes we know about it & still wait for it to happen because we 'hope' things would get better gradually. Hope is necessary in everything but deception because it creates a movie-atmosphere around us resulting into getting more hurt - emotionally. And as we all know that emotional wounds take decades to fade away but its scars still pertain till we die. The 'forgive-and-forget' theory is only a theory, no one actually forgets the person. In short, we want to be deceived & this is the harsh truth. The actual test of time is after the 'rituals' of deception are over. Then, like I said in my earlier post, the true character of the person prevails. We're what we're under pressure not what we want us to be. The sooner we wake up, the sooner we're sane.

Our fate lies in our own hands. We have to write our own destiny so only we're to be blamed for getting carried away because we let that person to be of utmost importance in our life that ultimately unfortunately resulted into Deception & the relation had to end with great bitterness. A person is deceived only when he rely's on others i.e. not being self-independent. As we start doing our things on our own without being 'dependent' on others, the chances of deception decreases. It is what is known as 'Karma'.

The following quote might look a bit complicated at first but it is a truth which requires our attention.

'Love is a deception and a trap. Love is as big a myth that God sits with his flowing white beard in a throne and looks at us.' - Al Goldstein

Happy 'Deception'