A Rebellious Child

A REBELLIOUS CHILD

"In youth we learn, in age we understand" - Austrian novelist, Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

Most of us celebrate our birthday's every year but what is the actual significance of it? Is birthday celebrated to embrace our victory over death for the past one year, that we managed to live a complete year? or do we celebrate it because it is the celebration of what we're now, what we've learned from life? or is it just a means for another family get-together? A pessimist/logical person would see birthday as the celebration of death & the case with a optimist will be vice-versa. I was recently reading a book 'Karma Manual', according to which our 'karma' begins since our conception. It means that since the time that life existed, it's 'karma' also churned it's wheels. Till the age we begin to watch 'Mickey Mouse', half of our karma is already done.

Life has three stages: 'Sowing', 'Growing' & 'Reaping'. Our own 'sowing' is not in our hands but 'growing' is. We grow first into a prepubescent age where the whole world is an alien to us. Whatever looked good or made a sound used to catch our attention. Whatever we were told by our elder's was considered as a binding statement. But as we leave the 'prepubescent' stage & enter into the very famous 'teen-age', our perceptions & priorities change. This is the age of rebel, love & affection. It is the only age where 'love' & 'rebel' come together. But the 'love' here is just to 'love-ourself'. Concentration from studies is shifted to 'gossip', 'movies' & other personal favorites. Many psychiatrists believe that this behavior is due to the 'hormonal' changes taking place. The 'pressure' is unbelievable these days. And during this, a movie like 'Udaan' releases. I'm not criticizing Udaan but neither am I appreciating it. I'm a teenager myself & the point that I didn't like in the movie was that it was a 'stereotypical' view. The write/director failed to show the perception of the father, only the main protagonist's perspective was considered. Also they've shown that 'running-away' is the solution. Now it doesn't takes a scientist to check the odds of children seeing the movie & concluding their lives journey. No doubt parents need to take good care but after seeing movies like these, atleast 60% of youth will see their parents as their enemies. I beg to differ. The chap is still learning to cope with world's rules of living + the biological changes taking place + the unstoppable thoughts = PRESSURE! And if 'Udaan' is seen by that chap, either he/she will come out more mature or a new method of 'runaway' will be developed. The problem is that we're already in a dilemma & if at that time parent's, even with good intentions, try to assist their child - will be considered as the same tyrant we saw in the movie. But what we should remember is that our parents are not our enemies. They want to see us grow in an environment where we mustn't suffer as they did. They are the silent guardians who take every blame silently that we throw at them. And we oblige them with running away when 'the pressure is un-handleable'. Is this really the solution? How can we be sure that we can grow ourselves better than our parents? It's not possible both logically & financially. 

Again it all comes down to the perception. When we've created a certain image that our parents are 'something', we stand-by that image. Hence when we are scolded for something, we take it too personally & sensitively. What we don't understand is that they are scolding us for our better development, again there are some exceptions. But the point is that it's just a shadow that we had in mind & most children don't seem to differentiate between reality & delusion. 

The solution for this is that the parents should sit together & then play their 'roles'. By roles I mean that either of them can play a 'support system' while the other plays the 'commander'. By doing this, the child is atleast sure that his voice will be heard. Normally, for the son his mother is the 'support system' & father is the 'commander' and vice-versa for girls. At this age, children tend to draw attention to themselves, failing which they take extreme steps. So even if the child is scolded by the parent, the 'other' should make sure that the same words are spoken with an essence of love, warmth & security in it. Many parents restrict their children's freedom to go out, to hang out with friends. In this case mutual understanding is needed from the parents & the child and gradually parents should also trust their children and increase their time-limit. This way both parties are at profit. 

The definition of rebellion is very nicely explained by Albert Camus , “What is a rebel? A man who says no”. 

“Real rebels are rarely anything but second rate outside their rebellion; the drain of time and temper is ruinous to any other accomplishment.” -  James Gould Cozzens

"Men seldom, or rather never for a length of time and deliberately, rebel against anything that does not deserve rebelling against." - Thomas Carlyle